Once upon a time in the Kingdom of Heaven, God went missing for six days.
Eventually, Michael the archangel found him, resting on the seventh day.
He inquired of God, "Where have you been?"
God sighed a deep sigh of satisfaction and proudly pointed downwards through
the clouds, "Look Michael, look what I've made."
Archangel Michael looked puzzled and said, "What is it?"
"It's a planet," replied God, "and I've put life on it. I'm going to call it
Earth and it's going to be a great place of BALANCE."
"Balance?" inquired Michael, still confused.
God explained, pointing to different parts of Earth, "For example, Northern
Europe will be a place of great opportunity and wealth while Southern Europe
is going to be poor. Over there I've placed a continent of white people and
over there is a continent of black people," God continued, pointing to different
countries. "This one will be extremely hot and arid while this one will be very
cold and covered in ice."
The Archangel, impressed by God's work, then pointed to a large land mass in
the Middle of North America and asked, "What's that one?" "Ah," said God. "That's Nebraska, the most glorious place on Earth. The
people from Nebraska are going to be modest, intelligent and humorous and they're
going to be found traveling the world. They'll be extremely sociable, hard-working
and high-achieving, and they will be known throughout the world as diplomats and
carriers of peace. I'm also going to give them super-human, undefeatable football
team who will be admired and feared by all who come across them."
Michael gasped in wonder and admiration but then proclaimed. "What about
balance, God? You said there will be BALANCE!"
God replied wisely. "Just wait until you see the loud-mouth idiots I'm putting
next to them in Colorado, Iowa and Kansas."